UFC Freedom 250

what is any of this

Alex Pereira faces Ciryl Gane for the interim disputed UFC heavyweight title in the co-main event of UFC America Football Freedom Apple Pie Monster Truck 250 With Bacon in June. You know, the month everyone is traditionally extremely patriotic in America.

They either think we’re too stupid to notice, or too complacent to care, or too weak for it to matter.

Sure, it’s a celebration of America’s 250th birthday. Except it’s not on July 4th, which actually happens to fall on a Saturday, the traditional day for UFC events. This is on Sunday, a month early, June 14th. Oh, which happens to be Trump’s actual birthday. Yay America.

The best part is the event is so accessible! Tickets are available as part of a Unique Investment Opportunity (bribe), a steal at just $1.5 million. Or, if you are A Troop, who meets certain physical requirements (Height, weight, overt Aryan-ness) and able to pay your own transportation, accommodation, and meals, you could attend for free!

If you can’t quite meet those exacting standards, good news! There’s an off-site watch location available that is also outside. All the fun of the DC summer swamp heat, humidity, and bugs, plus the added bonus of straining your neck to look up at a big screen for five hours.

And a moderate chance of severe thunderstorms!

Sorry, let me try that one more time:

All hail God Emperor Trump. May his reign crush ten thousand years of progress. May his bootheel grind out the last flickering sparks of dignity.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR.

Heavyweight Title - Alex Pereira vs Ciryl Gane

This fight is happening because Tom Aspinall has been rendered a sightless husk following the cruel ministrations of Gane’s outstretched and grasping fingers. Tom is on the shelf indefinitely as he struggles to recognize light and shadows. Meanwhile, various fighters and random MMA talking heads have been calling Tom a massive pussy for months on end for not simply risking his vision, money, career, livelihood, and potentially future quality of life by getting back into the cage while still extremely blind.

Gane, riding a two fight win streak not counting his vicious claw attack, is slotted back into title contention because why the hell not. If this feels all too familiar, it’s because Gane has had four heavyweight title fights and failed to come away with gold the last three times. He took a vacant interim belt by beating Derrick Lewis in 2021, and since then, lost to Francis N’Gannou, lost to Jon Jones, and went to a No Contest against Tom Aspinall because nobody let him know that the eyeball is a No Go Zone.

Alex Pereira regained the Light Heavyweight title last year and decided there were no more worlds left to conquer at 205 pounds. Honestly, he’s not wrong! Look at the arid wasteland and see if you can muster up the give a fuck to hit the gym. For Carlos Ulberg and Azamat Murzakanov? No thank you!

All that preamble out of the way, the UFC Heavyweight title is now destined for a stupid outcome. Either the former MIDDLEWEIGHT champ wins it, which is real fucking stupid. Or, the guy who has been turned away multiple times by champs and was last seen executing Pai Mei’s eye plucking technique will win it, which is also pretty stupid.

Thing is, if you contemplate any of it for about four seconds, you come to the realization that it is entirely deserved. It’s probably warranted. For the division, for the organization, for the fans. Long time coming, but by god if those chickens found their way in to roost at last.

Carl has written extensively and I’ve chimed in a few times about the dire state of heavyweights. Please read them, our children eat your precious clicks. Anyway, do those wretched beasts really deserve dignity and respect after the decades of floundering and flailing heavyweight MMA has wrought upon this world? No! Pereira versus Gane is the stupidity the division should aspire to for the rest of time.

Look at the current state of UFC as a whole. Guys still wet from the Howler Head spawning vats stumble into a Contender Series fight at 2-1, knock out another terrified, shrieking homunculus, and get fast-tracked to the top ten before their contract re-ups or their birthing slime dries into a flaky crust. Anybody can randomly get thrust into a main event fight with title implications, or worse, get a title shot based off the amount of racism and domestic violence they do on a given weekend bender. Why should the “premiere” title in combat sports have any merit or legacy attached to it any more? Minowaman’s SUPERHLUK belt has more gravitas than a UFC title at this point.

“It’s just a little racist, it’s still good. It’s just a little homophobic, it’s still good. It’s just a little bigoted, it’s still good. It’s just a little fascist, it’s still good. It’s gone.”

And now the mirror turns inwards. MMA fans have let the garbage pile and fester for years. Shrug our shoulders and close our eyes to everything outside the cage that we don’t like. “I just care about the fights, I don’t care what they do when they aren’t fighting” is a common refrain. Well, how do you like it now? Nobody has defense or cage craft, they just plod forward, looking for one shot knockouts. Grappling has become so vilified by the fans and promotions that it’s spilling over into judging and refereeing.

MMA fans, and I staunchly include myself in with that miserable lot, are pathetic. Just sit back and let the fascism creep into the sport. “It’s just a few people with some horrendous opinions, it’s not like it’s going to take over the upper echelons and turn fighters into horrible bigots. Oh, wait.”

Just like Brian Ebersole’s hairrow, my dander is up, buddy!

Think about it like this, if, at any point, in the previous 30 years of UFC history, had the sitting President of the United States been paraded out, at least a dozen people would have hurled beer cups at him, and he’d be lucky if the liquid sloshing around was just beer. But now Dana is best pals with the guy who gets him all the good deals and helps squash labor rights, so let’s fucking honor that turd.

Also, let’s not forget that while Trump Taj Mahal did host UFCs 30 and 31, Trump also was heavily involved in Affliction MMA, which ran directly counter to UFC. Dana White claims that UFC and Trump have been intertwined best pals since 2001, but Affliction was enough competition that UFC counterprogrammed an event with free Anderson Silva. Do you realize how wild that is? One of the coolest knockout artists at the time, who’s a reigning champ, going up in weight against a vaguely hard-hitting jabroni, for free? Unheard of at the time! Hell, its unheard of now, and that’s only because Alex Pereira vacated the light heavyweight belt before this fight.

Lightweight Title - Ilia Topuria vs Justin Gaethje

Here’s the other bullshit: the actual main event is pretty good!

Ilia Topuria vs Justin Gaethje for the Lightweight belt isn’t terrible. Should it be Arman Tsaryukan instead? Yeah, probably! Are Gaethje’s last two wins a little underwhelming? Yeah. Am I steadily realizing that Gaethje isn’t such an ideal contender? Yes. Do I need a nap? Of course, always.

Did I have a whole thing about this fight being like having a really good meal, but forced to eat it in a sewage ditch? Yes, but now it’s more of a third-tier Chili’s lunch, eaten in a sewage ditch. Not bad, but you could have gotten a lot better!

Granted, noted shit-stirring lunatic Arman Tsaryukan might have thrown a fireball, Terry Funk-style, at Ilia during the weigh-in face off, so maybe you don’t have him near heads of state. Sucks, but it’s kind of understandable.

Actually, the real reason Justin’s in this spot is two-fold: One, he is the only American fighter of high enough stock to fight for the title, and two, Ali Abdelaziz probably negotiated down to a fight purse of ten bucks.

Evaluating the fight for just the fight itself, it should be exciting. Justin Gaethje might have cleaned up some of his technique and isn’t purely a blind swinging brawler, but he still hits like a bomb and is more willing to trade than the average fighter at his level of fame and record.

Ilia Topuria has had about six minutes total time not blasting dudes into unconsciousness in his UFC career. His only minor speed bump came against Jai Herbert, who is a twelve foot tall lightweight, so that can be excused, especially since Topuria bounced back from getting dropped in the first round and knocked out Herbert’s giraffe body in the second.

Either man has the potential to put the other man to sleep. Topuria’s craftier at landing his shots, and he is willing to grapple outside of extreme danger situations.

All of that being said, Justin Gaethje is the Violence Idiot for a reason. He’s gonna inadvisably tank some shots just for the chance to throw his own hammers. If he connects, and I realize if is doing a lot of heavy lifting, but if he connects, how will Topuria fare against a man whose bones are so dense he sinks in water? Because if I remember one thing from the season of TUF that Gaethje coached, it is him trudging on the bottom of a pool.

Look, I’m not Carl, I’m not great at analyzing film and breaking down technique. I know what both guys do well and have a vague understanding of how they’re gonna try to Do Their Stuff. I would love to dive deep into the tape study and produce an eloquent summary of how Topuria reacts to a low-kick heavy attack, or what Justin will need to avoid as he swarms in.

However! As I frequently shout from the mountains, above all their skill and technique, fighters love to do the god damn dumbest thing possible. Maybe Topuria really wants to show off his grappling this time, so he comes out looking for Imanari rolls and gets booped to death with hammer fists? Stupid as hell, but I’ve seen dumber deviations from established gameplans to the detriment of fighters before!

All of that waffle and nonsense being said, Topuria more than likely by first round KO such that we all ask “why did we even bother with this fight?”

Bantamweight - Sean O’Malley vs Aiemann Zahabi

Then there’s O’Malley vs Zahabi, third from the top. You might ask, why is Sean O’Malley on this card, let alone in such a high profile spot, against a guy over ten spots below him on the rankings?

Sean’s a guy who got a big media push, should have been stopped early in his ascendancy but ran into an opponent too stupid to capitalize on an obvious advantage, got served up favorable match ups, and, lest we ever forget, has a deep friendship with a sex criminal. Other than that, I can’t see any particular reason for O’Malley to have a place of pride on the Big Boy’s Birthday event.

Zahabi was carefully hand selected to hopefully replicate his Ricardo Ramos performance.

Since this is supposed to honor America, which just means the military, let’s have a repeat of Fight for the Troops. A night of shockingly horrific brain trauma, plus a gross leg break. We’re due for one of those. Maybe O’Malley’s little flamingo sticks will get snapped.

Heavyweight - Derrick Lewis vs Josh Hokit

I realize this card, despite claims of being carefully crafted over 9 months, was mostly assembled at random, and somewhat recently at that.

Derrick Lewis vs Josh Hokit, a late addition to the card. Here we have Stupid Heavyweight in all its glory.

If his back feels okay, and he ate a salad sometime in the past six weeks, Derrick Lewis could easily nuke Hokit inside of four minutes, like how he turned Tallison Texeira away.

On the other hand, he might come out stiff and slower than usual, concede a takedown and just flop around until the ground and pound finishes it.

Either way, none of the possible outcomes of this fight hinge on anything Josh Hokit will do beyond physically being present across the cage.

Regardless of who wins, the post-fight interview will probably feature the n-word.

Lightweight - Mauricio Ruffy vs Michael Chandler

Oh boy. Gone are the days where Michael Chandler was seeing us at the top. Gone is the just around the corner fight with Conor McGregor. Now he’s just an angry red cube, screaming into a silent void as everything eclipses him. He doesn’t even get to welcome McGregor back to the cage, that fight goes to Max Holloway in July! Gonna Jib-Jab yourself into another The Purge clip to menacingly request a fight like you did against Brent Primus in Bellator?

Ruffy is pretty good, and he’s actually been fighting very consistently the past few years. He is far more prepared to fight Chandler than Chandler is to fight him.

Maybe now that there’s an opening, Chandler will embrace his true destiny and become El Hijo del Grande Americano Jr.

Middleweight - Bo Nickal vs Kyle Daukus

C’mon meteor.

Skip it. Skip this one. Don’t like it at all.

Featherweight - Diego Lopes vs Steve Garcia

Finally, some good fucking booking. Go time for Mean Machine. Either he’s the big puncher that has put it all together and is going to punch Diego big, or he’s not ready for the bright lights.

Lopes has really only lost to Volkanovski in the last few years, and damn if most of the rest of featherweight also loses to Volk.

In all likelihood, Lopes is going to prove the levality of This Shit and send Garcia packing. I am hoping to be wrong, but Garcia’s best wins are retroactively Melq Costa, who was last seen getting handily turned away by Arnold Allen, and five fight losing streak Calvin Kattar. Solid wins, but decidedly on a lower tier than Lopes.

All the stars are here!

I’m just surprised at some of the fighters left off this event, not even counting the ones who said they had no interest in Oligarch Fest 2026: Now with More Bugs!

Where’s Sedriques Dumas? Surely the Crimes President loves the man with the most crimes in UFC history!

Where’s Valentina Shevchenko? A dominant fighter who is actually a Russian spy? That’s precisely the person who needs unfettered access to the White House!

Where’s Renato Moicano? Surely he would pledge his winnings directly to Trump!

The actual hardcore MAGA fighters all suck shit and Trump wants nothing to do with them any more.

Ok, I think I typed most of my anger out. I’m gonna take a nap for a thousand years.

Wake me up when Iron Turtle has rightfully ascended to godhood and crushes all with his mighty flippers.